Boy, Did I Blow It!

Have you ever had days when you'd just lose it? I mean, you allow someone or something to really take you there? I had one yesterday! My kids & I were at the park enjoying a back to school party when a cluster of parents were saying something negative about the way I chose to do something! Normally I would just laugh it off, but for some reason, this time I totally over reacted! I did not use swear words or anything, but my tone was a HOT MESS! Completely out of character! It was like an out of body experience where I was standing outside of me watching myself snap off in total disbelief! Its like I could feel rage brewing inside as if I had been harboring these feelings for quite some time! Had I? After all these years of school activities had I had enough of the over achieving do gooders who think their children can do no wrong? Surely that wasn't the case! Or was it?

I was convicted instantly of my behavior, but my pride was not going to let me back down! I had to dig deep & pull out some humility! The Bible tells us to "humble ourselves", which is way better that God doing it for us! I sat trying to enjoy the rest of the festivities with my friend who brought her children to play with mine. I kept seeing the parents I had words with & they all seemed to have moved on to enjoy the party! I, on the other hand, was still kinda upset at what took place! I took a deep breath & attempted to right my wrong, but apparently I didn't do it quick enough nor with proper intent, because just as I was about to show them that I was the bigger person, a bug flew in my eye! Ouch!

SLOW OBEDIENCE IS JUST LIKE NO OBEDIENCE! I was unable to enjoy the rest of the evening! My eye had swolen up & everything! I flushed it out several times & I am ok now, but I believe God allowed this entire scenario to happen so I could see what was still lurking inside of me & He gave me an opportunity to deal with it! Unfortunately, for this test, I failed! But, I am thankful that He allowed me to be able to see the error of my ways, repent & turn away from that sort of behavior! Had it not happened, I would not have known that it was still in me to behave that way & it would still be laying dormant until another episode, which could be worse & even more dangerous! I had Godly sorrow! Yes, God forgives us our sins, however, there are consequences for our every action & boy, did I suffer the consequences for mine! lol

I am glad my children didn't see what happened & that it wasn't a physical fight with cursing & stuff, but I still have to be very careful where ever I go & in all that I do, not to destroy the witness! That type of behavior doesn't go with my destiny at all!Once again, God has turned my mess into His Message for His Glory! Thank You Lord, You're The Bomb Diggity!

(Remember, thank you always makes room for more!)