PEACE vs. DRAMA

Its been a while since my last entry, but that does not mean that I have not been making messes! I HAVE! I just have been so bogged down with all the cares of life that I have not taken time to write about anything! Well, I have recently joined the world of Facebook & I make a small entry on there a few times a week, but its different than journaling on here! This is like therapy for me! In the process I pray it helps someone else! I know for me, when I am going through, the enemy will try to make me feel as though I am all aone in the mess I am in! When in fact i know there are others experiencing similar if not the same things!
I work at a very public place & I meet all kinds of people! I hear the darndest things about people & thier lifestyles. Sometimes, its a bit overwhelming! Recently, I vented while others could hear me! I ranted & I raved because I just couldn't take it anymore! I was not swearing, just a fussing! I wasn't feeling well at all! Everyone was surprised, because they know I am usually the full of life, happy one! Well, everyone has thier days! I never professed to be perfect!
I can honestly say that I NEVER want to destroy the witness! I pray my behavior did not discourage anyone!

SALVATION... Please Don't Leave Earth Without It!

Did I Really Do That?

Hello, Its been a while since my last entry. I don't even know which of my messes to begin with! Ahhh, I'll go with the one I am most embarrassed about! Listening to a wolf in sheep clothing!

A guy I know from a mutual place was telling me some pretty nice things & made declarations about how he would treat me if I'd give him a chance. Everytime he saw me, he poured it on! I told him that I am not dating right now & that being friends was all I was interested in, but those nice things lingered in my mind for a few days & I was curious to see what type of guy he really was. Instead of me asking God to reveal his true colors, I did a little investigating on my own! Opperative phrase being "on my own"! Huge mistake! The Bible says HE THAT FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING! Not SHE that gets curious & puts herself in a guys path on purpose...!!! lol

One day, the guy bought lunch for my friend & me, which was nice, but "ain't nothing free"! Even a cup of coffee will cost you "something"  these days, it seems! That's a shame! Buying/Receiving something from someone DOES NOT make you obligated to sleep with them!

After a few conversations, I knew it was going to be a problem, because the majority of the conversations disturbed my peace! (red flag)

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt until they show me otherwise & boy did he show me otherwise! We met for lunch, I parked my car & rode with him the rest of the way (silly me). He did not go straight to the restaurant! I said, "Oh Lord, here we go!" I knew as soon as I got dropped off to my car safely, that I never wanted to interact with him ever again! Looking back on it, I knew those red flags were there all along! Sure, I felt stupid for a minute, but my turn around time is much faster now! I am not where I should be, but I thank God I am not like I used to be! While in that situation, God showed me my growth & my level of maturity rising! Thank You Lord!

Well, I asked God's forgiveness for stepping ahead of Him & asked him how to exit that situation permanently & God in His compassion showed me right away! I exited that situation GRACEFULLY!  I also asked God to increase my spirit of discernment so I won't keep making foolish choices with foolish people!

God is so faithful! He is my Keeper, my Protector & my Lord!

When we take a stand & respect ourselves, it commands others to respect us! It is NEVER ok for someone to manipulate or take advantage of or verbally, mentally or physically abuse you! God always makes a way of escape, all we have to do is TAKE IT!

It is so important to guard our mind as well as our heart like the Bible says! Watch what you allow into your ear gates & eye gates! I've found that it WILL produce fruit whether ripe or rotten! We don't always know how to right our wrongs, but GOD DOES! 

The Bible says if we lack wisdom, we can ask God for it & He will give it to us liberally! Lets ask Him! NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN GOD'S BEST FOR YOUR LIFE!

Once again, God allowed me to experience something that I chose to do & I made a mess of it, but He created a message out of it!  I just want to be an obedient yielded vessel, transparent, never trying to save face so that others can seek Your face Lord!! Thank You Lord, be Glorified in my life!

Be Careful & Be Prayerful my friends!

SALVATION... Please Don't Leave Earth Without It!

Boy, Did I Blow It!

Have you ever had days when you'd just lose it? I mean, you allow someone or something to really take you there? I had one yesterday! My kids & I were at the park enjoying a back to school party when a cluster of parents were saying something negative about the way I chose to do something! Normally I would just laugh it off, but for some reason, this time I totally over reacted! I did not use swear words or anything, but my tone was a HOT MESS! Completely out of character! It was like an out of body experience where I was standing outside of me watching myself snap off in total disbelief! Its like I could feel rage brewing inside as if I had been harboring these feelings for quite some time! Had I? After all these years of school activities had I had enough of the over achieving do gooders who think their children can do no wrong? Surely that wasn't the case! Or was it?

I was convicted instantly of my behavior, but my pride was not going to let me back down! I had to dig deep & pull out some humility! The Bible tells us to "humble ourselves", which is way better that God doing it for us! I sat trying to enjoy the rest of the festivities with my friend who brought her children to play with mine. I kept seeing the parents I had words with & they all seemed to have moved on to enjoy the party! I, on the other hand, was still kinda upset at what took place! I took a deep breath & attempted to right my wrong, but apparently I didn't do it quick enough nor with proper intent, because just as I was about to show them that I was the bigger person, a bug flew in my eye! Ouch!

SLOW OBEDIENCE IS JUST LIKE NO OBEDIENCE! I was unable to enjoy the rest of the evening! My eye had swolen up & everything! I flushed it out several times & I am ok now, but I believe God allowed this entire scenario to happen so I could see what was still lurking inside of me & He gave me an opportunity to deal with it! Unfortunately, for this test, I failed! But, I am thankful that He allowed me to be able to see the error of my ways, repent & turn away from that sort of behavior! Had it not happened, I would not have known that it was still in me to behave that way & it would still be laying dormant until another episode, which could be worse & even more dangerous! I had Godly sorrow! Yes, God forgives us our sins, however, there are consequences for our every action & boy, did I suffer the consequences for mine! lol

I am glad my children didn't see what happened & that it wasn't a physical fight with cursing & stuff, but I still have to be very careful where ever I go & in all that I do, not to destroy the witness! That type of behavior doesn't go with my destiny at all!Once again, God has turned my mess into His Message for His Glory! Thank You Lord, You're The Bomb Diggity!

(Remember, thank you always makes room for more!)

YESTERDAY!

Hello, did you realize that yesterday's date was 09/09/09? That's really amazing to me! It'll never be 09/09/09 at 09:09a.m. or 09:09p.m. ever again! Talk about things that make you go hmmm! LOL

I made a mess yesterday! I allowed myself to get so frustrated & I reacted instead of responded. No one else heard it or saw it, but I knew & believe you me God knew! Needless to say, I thought of how I blew the situation totally out of proportion, I laughed at myself then I asked God to forgive me & to help me handle it properly next time! Oh yes, there will be a next time! Whenever we blow it, God allows us an opportunity to right our wrongs! It may be the same exact situation with the same people or a completely different scenario. But in any case, the outcome is the same... to make us better & build character! Lesson learned yesterday!

Speaking of yesterday, its gone forever! Ever heard of the saying, "no sense in crying over spilled milk"? Yes, its true, yesterday is gone, so what are you going to do with today?

Enjoy it & be sure to laugh at yourself!