My oldest son bought a cell w/his b-day money & he is with his dad this weekend. He text me, while I was driving from far away coming from a call back audition that lasted 10 minutes, if that! I was not feeling all that great about my performance & his text said "Hi just wanted to say I love you!" Little did he know I was feeling mighty low cuz I believe I cud have done better, I thanked him & told him that it was perfect timing & felt like a (BIG HUG)! He asked what was wrong & I told him, he said, "GOD DIDN"T BRING U THIS FAR 2 LEAVE U!" *tears* sniff, sniff THANK U GOD 4 COMPASSIONATE, THOUGHTFUL & LOVING CHILDREN! I LOVE U!
All the years of love, support, compassion & giving my children all of me is paying off in more ways than one! It’s like I'm reaping what I've sown! My oldest daughter kept me focused the night b4 auditions...she bid me God Speed & prayed 4 my attention span 2 last long & 4 me not 2 be sleepy or distracted! That morning she read along silently & listened to me do my final run thru & she said I had it word for word & she applauded! She literally clapped & smiled! Her face said she was impressed & proud! She asked, “you stayed up all night ma?” She was at the library performing while I was at my audition, we were texting each other encouragement! I wanted to text her that I BOMBED, but I told her I was nervous, had to start over, but did it for the most part. But, my spirit got low & I felt defeated even though I did very well for learning the monologue in one day! I did not feel as confident as at home, because people who had gone to school for acting was also auditioning & the director herself was in there so the pressure was thick! My daughter text me after the audition, “Aw, I hope everything works out cuz U deserve it”! These kids got my eyes so full of tears! :) WHAT A BLESSING! THANK YOU LORD! She said, I forgot a line to my new piece I wrote, but I kept going & everyone was so supportive & encouraging saying she did great & her words were great & that there is no way they would have been able to keep going! She even got a card from one of the listeners who offered to help in any way or to be a mentor! We looked at each other & said “WE KEPT GOING”! GOD U ARE SO AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL! WE WENT SKATING WITH OUR BRAND NEW SKATES THAT I BOUGHT FOR LITTLE OR NOTHING THE DAY BEFORE! IT WAS A PERFECT DAY WITH HER! It was weird not driving her & being at the library to watch her perform an original piece, but she encouraged me to go to my call back & I felt torn, but it’s time to do some things for me now that they are older. My sacrifices of putting me on the back burner until they got older are paying off!
Well, I can't tell about 1 or 2 & not the others, lol! My youngest daughter has been cheering me on since I began pursuing my dream! She text me "YOU WERE CUT OUT FOR THIS MA, YOU'RE GOOD AT IT, ITS WHAT YOU DO ON A DAILY BASIS! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! JUST WANTED TO GIVE BACK TO U ALL THAT U GIVE TO ME, I LOVE YOU" I was bubbling over inside! WOW! **tears** She hugs me all the time & thanks me for believing in her & for loving her & for listening to her & for taking care of her…WOW, you never know how someone is watching everything you do & say & how you are affecting or impacting their lives! She plays basketball & I usually never miss a game, but since I have been pursuing my dreams, I have had to miss a few, I know she misses her #1 fan, but she supports me just like I support her! She says she understands & that its ok! TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!
My baby boy is not a baby anymore! He doesn't have a phone to text, yet, but he always hugs me at the most perfect times! I don't know if he needs it or if he knows that I need it, either way, God knows & HIS timing is perfect! Zeke prays for me out loud, all the time, about everything (just like I do for them) & I see his eyes & his face...he is so sincere & he truly expects & believes that God can & God will do just what he is asking, (just like me), gotta have that pure motive, childlike faith! I cherish all of these moments! We all talk individually & together & it’s never a dull moment! We laugh, we cry, we vent, we bicker, we share, we play, we love & we do it all TOGETHER! I like my quiet times, but I LOVE TOGETHER! Thank You Lord 4 my family! I love them all & I LOVE me some YOU! You have used Your Word & my family to validate me & to wrap your loving arms around me during this time where my mind wants my emotions to cave in & give up, but You have taught me that DEFEAT IS NOT AN OPTION! I WAS CUT OUT FOR THIS LIFE & ALL THAT IT MAY BRING! THANK YOU FOR REJECTION AS WELL AS ACCEPTANCE! THANK YOU FOR CLOSING DOORS AS WELL AS FOR OPENING WINDOWS & DOORS OF OPPORTUNITIES & ENOUGH BLESSINGS I WON’T EVEN HAVE ROOM TO RECEIVE! THANK YOU FOR RESTORING MY DREAMS & VISIONS AS WELL AS FOR PROVISIONS! THANK YOU FOR BUILDING MY CONFIDENCE, I BOAST IN YOU ABOUT YOUR GREATNESS! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE DIVINE CONNECTIONS AS WELL AS FOR ALL MY HATERS…KEEP HATING, YOU’RE ONLY SETTING ME UP FOR MORE BLESSINGS!!! THANK YOU LORD FOR TWO GREAT CHURCHES WHERE I GET A DOUBLE DIPPING DOSE OF YOU! MY FEELINGS ARE TEMPORAL & SUBJECT TO CHANGE SO I CAN NOT GO OFF OF WHAT I FEEL! I HAVE TO OPERATE IN WHAT I KNOW TO BE THE FACTS & THE FACT REMAINS TO BE THAT YOU LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY & YOUR PLANS FOR ME ARE GOOD & NOT EVIL! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LORD! ALL YOUR PROMISES ARE YES & AMEN! YOU’RE DA BOMBDIGITY!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING THE LIFTER OF MY HEAD! YOU HAVE MADE ME GLAD & TAUGHT ME HOW TO ENCOURAGE MYSELF IN YOU LORD! WOW! YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME!!! I’M GOING TO WORSHIP YOU COLLECTIVELY WITH MY BROTHERS & SISTERS IN CHRIST NOW! THEN I AM GOING TO EAT SUNDAY DINNER WITH MY MOM, SIBLINGS, NIECES & NEPHEWS & MY CHILDREN AT HEADQUARTERS, LIKE WE USED TO DO AT BIGMA & PAW PAW’S HOUSE! THOSE WERE THE DAYS! IT’S ALREADY LOOKING BETTER LORD! THANK YOU THAT I ALREADY FEEL BETTER!!! I AM EXPECTING EVEN GREATER THINGS TODAY! I’M EXPECTING MIRACLES THAT ONLY YOU CAN PERFORM! SEE LORD, YOU MAKE ME SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE CAUSE OF CHRIST!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING VERY MUCH ALIVE IN ME! I KNOW I COULD NEVER NOR WOULD I LIKE TO TRY TO MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU! YOU ARE MY ABSOLUTE EVERYTHING!!! THANK YOU!SALVATION... Please Don't Leave Earth Without It!
